Bachelorette Season 9: Men Tell All

Tonight on the this very special edition of the Men Tell All we see that the men have not gotten over their “drama” and still hate each other. So we cut to “the best fans ever” and see Chris and Des totally creeping on some Bachelorette watching parties. I’m noticing a lot of guys at these parties. . .but also a ton of screaming girls especially when Des pulls out Ash and JP. Wow 26 seasons? That is a little bit crazy especially when you think of the success rate of the show, which I think is at a gigantic 3 maybe 4 couples still going strong. [That is couples that were created on the Bachelor or Bachelorette, not couples from Bachelor Pad or Bachelor/ette alum getting married to each other, like Chris and Peyton J)

Des sits down with some lovely ladies from the past: Emily, Ali, and Ashley about how to deal with the dramatic dudes of this season and they recap on those devilish dudes like Ben, Brian, and James.

Side note: one of the only reasons I like to watch the men/women tell alls is because of the bloopers! That is my all time favorite part and they never make them long enough.

Ooo yay they are showing us all the guys whose names we have long forgotten and I am seeing familiar faces and would not know their names without that helpful little writing on the screen. I think Zak K. might be a front runner for the next Bachelor. Also I am surprised that they brought back Fantasy Suite room guy. I feel like Jonathon watching himself, is feeling awkward and sorta proud of himself. They are replaying the guys drama and uncomfortable moments from start to finish. Jonathon was absolutely drunk that night and I appreciate that he apologized to everyone.

I would like to see Brandon as the next Bachelor because he is a loyal and genuine guy.

Ah now we get to Ben. Big bad Ben. He was shady, and in the beginning I liked him. For like one episode and then he turned weird. I don’t know what it was about him. And we get to watch the Michael roast again, man he really went after him hardcore. Well from the audiences’ reactions Ben does not have a huge following. Now the conversation has turned to who was a better dad on the show and Dan has some accusations that Ben’s baby mama approached him and told him all kinds of crazy things about Ben. And Zak thinks that Juan Pablo is a great dad, which gets him more cheers from his fan club.

Jimmy James (haha) joins Chris in the hot seat. And now we get ANOTHER recap. Bleck. So many recaps. If they cut out this crap they could have made this show an hour! Michael was the center of a lot of the drama, he was definitely a huge vocal presence but perhaps that was just his lawyer coming out. James is defending himself about this stupid car ride conversation again. James please go back to the Jersey shore cast. And if Mikey can introduce James to so many beautiful successful women then why did he go on the Bachelorette? Haha James would totally want to be the Bachelor but Bachelornation totally won’t have him.

Juan Pablo is a fan favorite for sure, I mean these girls made shirts and everything. I love his outfit by the way, it’s a refreshing pop of color in between all these drab gray and black suits. Des is hilarious on her Juan Pablo commentary. “Soccer players have the best butts” and he cracks up. It’s sweet to see the side of Juan Pablo on his feelings about his daughter.

Zak’s up next to tell about his “love affair” and “how it all went wrong” Way to be encouraging Christopher. I still can’t get over how blinding Zak’s teeth are. Did Des give the journal back too? Why does Chris have it L Zak looks a little uncertain when Chris asks if he can read the secret invisible ink poem. He doesn’t want his heart smashed in a million pieces all over again dude!

Out comes Desiree in another sparkly dress. She confronts some of the guys, accepts Jonathon’s apology, and Zak awkwardly sings another song he wrote in front of everyone. The bloopers were funny but like always they were too short L Then we see previews for the 2 part “most dramatic season” finale of the Bachelorette ever. That must be Chris Harrison’s favorite phrase. Until next week!